Hello everyone! In my last post, I attempted to explain the difference in love and tolerance. This time I will try to discuss what each of these looks like, and if time allows, I will try to give examples of how we are able to live out Christian love in our lives and veer away from simply being "tolerant."
Okay, I guess the easiest place to start is 1 Corinthians 13: The Love Chapter. While this well known passage tells us "what love is" and "what love is not," I think we must forget often. Either that or we don't take the necessary time to let it soak in. So, let's examine this passage more closely to better understand what love looks like.
4 Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not boast, it does not envy, it is not proud.
We have all met people who are always negative about every single thing. Nothing can go right in their lives. People like that drive me crazy. Crazy! I find it difficult, and quite honestly, exhausting, to be around them. I just want to scream at them and run the other way if they ever come to me for anything. But, that would not be patient nor would it be kind. Being patient would mean that I need to bare with them and continue to be there for them time after time. And to be kind, I can't just BE there for them.. I have to be nice about it. I can't let my annoyance show through.
An even better example for our topic would be something more along the lines of this: You have a friend who is having premarital sex. You have talked extensively with her about your beliefs (because remember, we are talking about our Non-Christian counterparts here) about sex and how it belongs in marriage. Yet, time after time she comes to you with stories of her newest guy or her latest heartbreak. Each time you use as an opportunity to share Jesus with her and share how that lifestyle is not what He wants for her life. She always agrees with an, "I know" and a nod, but gets right back out there in the game. You are getting tired of being ignored, but each time you comfort her with a kind word about how she deserves better and how God intended for her to have a better life than this. That is patience. That is kindness.
Notice in our example what you are NOT doing. You are not being boastful. Let's say that you are in a committed relationship, either marriage or dating the same person for a long time. You are not rubbing this in her face. Also, if you waited until you were married to have sex, you are not bragging about it. This will make her feel as though you think you are better than she is. You aren't. Of course you are allowed (and should) use yourself as an example that it can be done IF that comes up, but you are not to bring it up just to make her feel bad or just to make yourself feel good. This is the truth for any circumstance. You are not to make people feel bad because of your accomplishments, successes, possessions, etc. (and by "you" I mean "we").
Love does not envy. I think this is probably self explanatory. We are not to wish for what others have (this is a commandment as well). If we see something that we want, we can set goals for ourselves and earn it, but we are not supposed to hold it against the person who already has it. Nor are we to harm them in any way (physically, emotionally, reputation, etc) in order to get what they have.
Love is not proud. We are to swallow our pride. Period. If we think we are right about something to the point that we aren't listening to the other person, or we are shooting down every idea they come up with then we need an attitude adjustment.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not dishonor others. We are not to harm another person's reputation. We aren't to embarrass them. We are not to do anything to make others think poorly of them. Boys and girls, you need to listen carefully to this, because I know that we are in the habit of trying to trash our ex girlfriends and boyfriends. Let me just say, whatever happens to end your relationship is between you and your ex. Not the whole entire world. If you need to talk to someone about what happened to get over it, that is fine. You have friends that you can talk to. But you don't need to go telling every person who asks what happened, and you definitely don't need to seek out people who don't care to tell them. AND you especially do not need to be telling your ex's friends or family what happened. That is his or her business. If your ex wants those close to him or her to know what happened, he or she will tell them. I get so sick of seeing people telling the business of their ex all over Facebook, and I get tired of hearing stories about how ex (usually ex bf's) try to ruin a person's life by telling their business to people who need to stay clued out. That is so wrong on so many levels. It is unforgiving and it is unloving. And that is my rant for the day, I hope.
Love is not self-seeking. In other words, it is not selfish. I'm sure we can all think of selfish attitudes and actions. Eating the last piece of pie when not everyone has had a piece, using all the hot water in the shower, making your husband take care of the kids when he has already been home with them all day while you work (or in my case, go to school), leaving messes for others to clean up, etc. We shouldn't do those selfish things.
Love is not easily angered. It is not wrong to be angry. Jesus got angry, God gets angry. It's okay to be angry. But it takes a lot to get love angry. Love doesn't get angry just because your friend is too busy to talk to you. It doesn't get angry just because your husband forgot to wash the dishes or because your wife forgot to iron your shirt. I kind of think this goes hand-in-hand with being patient, because if you are patient with someone's mistakes you are not going to become angry at the drop of a hat.
Love keeps no records of wrongs. Self-explanatory. We aren't supposed to hold grudges or keep up with how many times someone did us wrong. That old saying, "Fooled me once, shame on you; fooled me twice, shame on me" does not apply here. We are to forgive and forgive and keep forgiving. This includes our friends who lie to us to get out of hanging out with us, our boyfriends that cheat on us (spouses, too), our neighbor who stole $20 when we weren't looking. No matter how large or small the offense, we are not to hold grudges or keep holding it against the person who has wronged us.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
So, when love sees someone being picked on, it doesn't laugh along. Love doesn't enjoy movies or music with filth throughout. Love doesn't like compliments that are made up to make someone feel better. Love would rather give the truth to someone gracefully and gently than lie to make a person feel good. Love rejoices with the truth. Basically, if it's of the devil (evil), love does not delight in it, but if it is of Jesus (the truth), love rejoices.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love always protects. Love protects people being picked on, love protects those doing right, love protects the helpless, love protects marriages, love protects people's feelings. Love protects.
Love always trusts and love always hopes. I think that these two go together because I think in order to trust, you have to hope for the best. Love trusts that things will work out for the best and hopes that it does. Love trusts people (not to be confused with being naive). Love hopes that things will work out for the best. Love hopes that hard work will pay off. Love hopes that people will do better next time. Love hopes. And this hope is with a POSITIVE attitude. Love doesn't hope negative things. It doesn't hope positive things but think that the situation will turn out poorly.
Love always perseveres. This one is hard because we get tired. We get impatient. We "grow weary in well-doing." We get knocked down and find it difficult to get back up. But we have to. Love does. Love keeps on loving. Love keeps being patient, kind, hopeful, trusting. Love keeps praying, keeps giving, keeps doing, keeps going. When love gets knocked down, it gets up, dusts itself off, takes a deep breath, and tries again. When love has a friend that shuts down the message, love tries a different tactic. Love doesn't give up.
I hope that I have given you something to think about as far as what Love looks like. I am soo very sorry that it has been so long since I posted the beginning of this series. I do not make any excuses for myself. I *hope* that I am able to hurry and wrap this topic up.
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