Christian Love vs. Tolerance Part 2

First of all, I just wanted to point out that these are the things that my parents were intolerant of: disrespect, bad grades, bad behavior, ignorance, etc. It didn't really have anything to do with my previous post but to say what kind of environment I grew up in.

Secondly, I need to clarify that what I am talking about right now pertains to the way that we treat those that are not our Christian brothers and sisters. There is a different set of rules for our relationships with fellow Christians (which is a whole 'nother thing that I'm passionate about).

Now, the three questions that I posed in my last post were: What is the difference between tolerance and love? What does each one look like? and How can I practice love without tolerance? At this time I will attempt to discuss at least the first question.

What is the difference between tolerance and love?
At first when I started thinking about this, I had a really hard time separating the two in my head. I think that sometimes people feel like, "Oh, you don't like one thing I do, so you don't like me!!" I think that is one of the reasons that "tolerance" has been pushed so hard in recent years. People want everyone to be okay with whatever they do. As I thought about the whole issue more and more, though, I started to understand the difference, but I don't think that I fully answered this question to myself until I had answered the other two questions as well. So, please bare with me as we try to work this out together.

Tolerance is defined here as a "fair, objective, permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc. differ from one's own."

That seems like the Christian thing to do, right? It's fair. BUT it is permissive. That is bad. We should not be complacent with sin going on around us. This is the problem with tolerance. Jesus was not tolerant. He was not rude or hateful to anyone, but He also did not tolerate sin (think about Jesus when He drove the sellers out of the temple in Mark 11:15-22 or when He rebuked Simon in Luke 7:36-50). Of course there are many other examples, which some may find to be much better. But the point is that when someone was doing something wrong, He let them know.

Love is defined as "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." Lest we get confused, affection is defined as "fond attachment, devotion, or love." (Definitions are important because we may think a word means one thing because of our connotations associated with it, but it might mean something a little different. It's good to be precise.)

So, love is a bit more personal than tolerance. I'm pretty sure we can all agree with that one. (The definition even sounds better, using words like "tender" and "passionate" as opposed to "objective" and "permissive.") Note the tender way that Jesus spoke of and to the woman when He was at Simon's house (see above). As a matter of fact, He was not harsh with Simon, either.

Tolerance is driven from an attitude of "if I leave you alone and mind my business, you will leave me alone and mind your own." But, really that isn't the attitude that we should have. We should have an attitude of love. "If I love you until it hurts, if I reach out to you in every way that I know how, you will want to know why, and I can introduce you to Jesus." In Matthew 28:16-20 we are commanded to go forth and make disciples. We won't do that with an attitude of tolerance. The connotation associated with tolerance is this for me: "I dislike what you are doing and therefore dislike you. I do not want to be involved with you at all." I guess you could call it "high and mighty" or "Holier than thou".. you know.. those attitudes that "lost" people (rightfully) accuse Christians of all the time. How are we supposed to "make disciples" if we have that attitude? Don't kid yourself. People see right through it. If we have that attitude, we are doing more harm than good to the cause of Christ. I am not even kidding. We are turning people off to what we say and represent. Therefore, we are turning people off to Jesus, and we will be held responsible for our actions. Never forget that. Now, I used "we" in this rant, but to make it more personal, feel free to substitute "I." This is a very important point that each of us NEEDS to apply to our own individual life.

To me, "loving someone to Christ" has a connotation  more like this: "You are hurting, I am there for you. You need a friend, I invite you to my house or accept your invitation to come to yours. You need the notes from the class you missed Wednesday, not only do I have them for you, but I have a copy made out for you because I noticed that you missed. You are having financial problems, and I know it? Let me make you a meal or buy you some groceries. You're being bullied at school or work? I take up for you. Your house is messy and stressing you out? I'll come help you clean it up. You and hubby haven't had a date night in a while? I'll watch your kids for you. You just had a baby and don't have anything for him/her? Take some of my extras. Etc, etc, etc."

Okay, so hopefully this will get you thinking about the difference between LOVE and TOLERANCE. Maybe to fully grasp the concept, we will need to answer the last two questions. I plan to continue with this series until we get it hammered out for anyone who is interested, and maybe you can help me understand it even better, too. Please leave any questions or comments below to help me continue developing this topic.